This is an open letter to Diego, the lead singer and ringleader of The Ignorant, a great guy who’ve I’ve eaten chicken wings with on his last two birthdays. Please, blast The Ignorant wide open. We both agree that War Birth is an awesome U.S. Bombs record, as is Youth Brigade’s Sound and Fury. But you’re such a funny guy who can’t keep dumb jobs (you’re not cut out to drive Mini Coopers to get coffee for movie fucks), yet you truly care about mentally challenged kids. I think you’re looking at The Ignorant too narrowly. Not every song needs a chant. You don’t have to sound English. Some songs could be much slower (I’m not talking Poison power ballads, mind you, but some Sam Cooke in the monitor never hurt), some songs could be much faster (okay, your drummer would have had a heart attack and that would have been on your head), but Loaded Statement’s vision is too narrow, coming across as fifteen takes on almost the same streetpunk song. I know, I know, there are some small breaks in the template, but not much. Perhaps another way to look at it would be to ask yourself: “What would Homer do?” No, not Iliad and Odyssey shit, the J.Simpson variety. You’re such a thoughtful, original guy and—I may be wrong—but I think the world’s ready for the first Simpsons-inspired punk band. How about using your humor and unexpectedness as a springboard? I want songs about beer and donuts. I want songs about gloriously bad decisions pulled off with sparkle, bravado, and a shrug. I want the musical equivalent to you going to Tijuana and getting not one, but two hot dogs wrapped in bacon, covered in warm mayonnaise, and its violent exit strategy through your body… Hope we’re still on for beers next Monday. See you soon.