IDOL LIPS: Scene Repulisti: LP

I really wanted to like this record because the band is a bunch of funny-looking Italians in ties and sunglasses rendered in some kinda funny-looking Italian dot pattern standing in front of a funny-looking Italian wall with a nice big logo floating over their heads, but then if you look at the faux-Polaroids™ on the back, you can tell that Roy Orbison-looking guy is wearing the black tie with the little white stars all over it at practice, yet, on the front cover band photo, skinny moppy-haired guy is wearing the black tie with the little white stars on it and Roy Orbison guy is wearing a completely different tie. They’re borrowing each other’s ties for the photo shoot!Well i never! It did not take long for a list of bands whom i imagined the band thinks they sound like to start forming in my mind ((1. Heartbreakers; 2. Exploding Hearts; 3. Teenage Head; 4. everybody else)), but the effectiveness of said emulations remained largely in question until midway thru Side Two, when the band uncorked the record’s one and only hit, “You Gotta Choose” ((how can i tell it’s the record’s one and only hit? IT’S GOT THE HANDCLAPS, GOD DAMMIT!!!)). Usually, when bands wind up sticking their best song in the middle of Side Two—which is where common sequencing wisdom suggests you try and hide the album’s WORST song—it indicates some manner of creative loggerheads within the band, and is oft-times the herald of a band’s quick demise ((see also “Tonight” by the Cheeks)). With this in mind, may i request that, in a final liquidation of band assets, the black tie with the little white stars go to me? Grazie. BEST SONG: “You Gotta Choose” BEST SONG TITLE: “Down by L.U.V.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Thanks list references a “Mr. President and his bass;” if it’s the same Mr. President with whom i’m familiar, then that is one of the guys with whom i saw the Cheeks, completely coincidentally referenced earlier in this review.

 –norb (White Zoo,