HUMAN TOILET: Self-titled: 12”

Almost professional-sounding NYC hard rock/metal that has apparently stolen more than a few towels from Motel Angus, coupled with lyrics detailing miscellaneous vague perversions ((“Human Toilet” “Must Love Dogs” etc.)) and other degenerate apéritifs. They rhyme “schism” with “catechism” and drop the occasional chin-stroker like “all my fantasies revolve around convenience,” so it’s not like this is, you know, TORG’s “Hot Yogurt Enema” album or anything…but, all the same, my favorite thing about the line “human toilet is not a lifestyle choice!” is that I am heartened to find out that this is not a choice which I will be required to make at any point in my life. Huzzah! BEST SONG: “The Flirt” BEST SONG TITLE: “Giuliani Time” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: It’s been a while since I’ve listened to a record with an honest-to-gosh “poet laureate” on it, although I was a bit saddened to find out it was not going to be Leapin’ Lanny Poffo.

 –norb (Black Thirteen)