HOW IT ENDS: Beloved: CD

In the interest of full disclosure and in an attempt to avoid being jumped and sliced up by some angry Varg Vikernes wannabe, I’ll come clean, right off the bat, and admit that I just haven’t been keeping up on my heavy metal lately. So when a disc like this is shoveled my way, I’m likely to make out-dated references to bands like Crow Bar, Drown, and Entombed—all of which are references, I’m sure, that any self-respecting he-man death metalist would snicker at, if death metalists are allowed to snicker. Realizing the flimsiness of my references, I would then probably try to slap together some ill-conceived imagery like rutting bull elephants trampling a field of crawling infants while water-tower-sized bags of manure fall from the brooding sky. But all of that would probably only serve to shine the light of truth on just what a pathetic metal wuss I really am. Whatever. I can live with that. And I can live with this disc, too. It’s not bad. I don’t know if I’ll listen to it much myself, but it’ll be good to have on hand when my he-man death metal pals drop by for beers.

 –aphid (Thorp)