HIDDEN CHARMS: The Square Root of Love: LP

Take Dean Dirg (let’s hit stuff and scream), The Hives (cocky swagger, but, Jesus, they can rule), add a lead singer that hasn’t quite figured out his meds, mix ‘em up, give ‘em silly haircuts, get ‘em stinko drunk, have them dry hump barely bar-legal lasses, touch a keyboard on occasion, pull out switchblades, trip, and fall over them while doing a stupid trick that costs an eye, and that’s what it sounds like. Pretty much. Fight your friends. Puke where you sleep. Roll over so you don’t choke to death. Teeth are overrated. Snort the pavement if the drugs fail. You know: healthy depravity because the prospect of getting old really sucks. I think they have a song that goes, “She’s a wombat,” too. (I love wombats.) The record comes with a stenciled paper bag so you can be an anonymous accomplice during their live show. It’s stupid/silly fun that could have easily come out of Portland, but hails from Germany.

–todd (Alien Snatch)