HEX DISPENSERS, THE: Self-Titled: CD

There aren’t many bands in the underground for whom I’d say “fuck it” and quit my job so that I could go on tour and roadie for them. The Hex Dispensers are one of those bands. Seeing and hearing these songs played every night for a month or two whilst throwing back beers, snorting up drugs, screaming “MEOW-MEOW-MEOW!!!” during “The Crone [99 Cats],” and loading gear into a van would certainly take years off the end of my life, but it would be absolutely worth it. These tunes are a dirty, menacing brand of dark-wave garage pop, the aural equivalent of Black Sunday and the Spits taking a bunch of speed and dancing a midnight, cemetery tango on the grave of the Riverdales. Assuming the Riverdales are dead, of course. Lyrically, the Hex Dispensers tackle popular and kick ass topics such as assassins, E.S.P., haunted TV stations, and witchcraft. The downright groovy “Arsenic Milkshake” concludes the CD with the fantastically sinister lines: “I’ll make an arsenic milkshake/Delicious to the end/I’ll make an arsenic milkshake/It’s sweetened with revenge.” Speaking of which, has anyone seen the Hex Dispensers roadie? I wanted to invite ‘em down to the malt shop for a drink.

 –benke (Alien Snatch)