HELLIONS, THE: Self-titled: CD

These are the bastard demon-spawned purgatorial offspring of Lemmy and Motorhead… sinful, wicked, and belligerently bad-to-the-bone… ugly, mean, nasty, and evilly vile! The Hellions crudely crank-out a skull-fracturing assault of insanely souped-up audial madness that’s thunderously louder than a corpse-strewn apocalyptic battlefield and just as confrontationally fierce! With balls-out bad-ass brutality, they ferociously roar through such sonically volatile stormings as “Think for Me,” “Death Row Romeo,” “Case of the Bads” (“Hot rod rebel/ I’m a real tough man… I’m going to hell as fast as I can!”), “Teen Rage,” “Blacked Out,” “What’s Yer Poison,” and “Switchblade Rock’n’Roll” (my personal fist-thrustin’ favorite!). Satan better beware; these mayhemic musical miscreants are gonna knock him cross-eyed and silly right off his flame-broiled throne as they rabidly conquer Hell and beyond with their 100% blend of killer kick-ass rock’n’roll rambunctiousness. Fuck yeah, The Hellions whipped my ears into a frantic frenzy of brain-bustin’ bewilderment, and I now have serious doubts as to whether I’ll ever return to a non-convulsive state of semi-coherent normalcy. Oh well, who cares?! Long live The Hellions!

 –guest (Hello Records)