Jun 29, 2007

...i had to look at this record for quite a while to dope out what the fuck they did with it, but, after some analysis, i was able to figure out that it is a one-sided clear vinyl record, with both the front AND back artwork silkscreened on the b-side. The design elements visible on the a-side were silkscreened first, backwards, on the b-side, then the b-side elements were printed on top of the a-side elements, right-side up—sooooo, when you look thru the clear vinyl of the a-side, you see the back of the b-side artwork, which is where the a-side artwork was printed (and, since you’ve got the record flipped around now, it’s miraculously unbackwards). The record is then gaily festooned with regular record labels, and displayed in an open-hole paper sleeve, with more art screened on said sleeve. Gawrsh, Mickey! First song is an instrumental thrasher, the type of thing bands started their sets off with in 1983/84 so’s their singer could work himself into a bozo lather on the side of the stage before making his grand appearance; second song is a “Gas Chamber”-y number (duly equipped with vocals); final song is what sounds like an eons-long Minutemen soundcheck, complete with horns, except that it lasts longer than all the songs on the first two Minutemen records put together. I think this is what realtors refer to as a “unique property.” BEST SONG: Uh... the first one? BEST SONG TITLE: If “Skate When You’re Lonely, Honk When You’re Horny,” the phrase screened across the back, is actually a song title, i’ll pick that one. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: This record transcends mere Fantastic Amazing Trivia Facts! But, that said, it does have the phrase “IT’S THE CENTER I CRAVE” inscribed in the run-off grooves.

 –norb (Snack Attack)