GUTTERMOUTH: Gusto: CD

Holy shit! Sean sent me a Blink 182 CD, expecting me to listen to it. Wait a minute. This says Guttermouth. What the fuck? Is this the same snotty smart-assed punk band I used to listen to about ten years ago? No… can’t be, but the packaging says, sure enough, that it is, Mark Adkins & Co. Mark, what are you doing? This shit is terrible. My guess is that you are in the midst of some mid-life crisis and you are realizing that you are too old to pick up teenage girls anymore. So, you catch a glimpse of what Blink 182 is doing and how easy it is to make that kinda inane music and have tons of screaming teenage girls paw all over you. I can’t say I’m not jealous in that department, either. Hell, if I had a quarter for every teenage girl I jerked… uh… nevermind. But is it worth giving up your dignity for? Many can argue that question and it looks like you answered it “yes.” Well, I wish you guys luck, but I don’t plan on listening to anything else you put out if this continues. Just some advice as we part ways – pay attention to your statutory rape laws from state to state. The age of consent varies greatly. If you are looking for the younger ones, let me recommend the southern states. Check out www.sexlaws.org for further info on the topic. Good luck and be careful.

 –toby (Epitaph)