Jul 27, 2009

Please bear in mind that there is only ONE Groovie Ghoulies album in the universe – the other things you buy every year are just software updates (which is, of course, not to imply that any one Groovie Ghoulies album is more "THE" Ghoulies album than another; the One True Groovie Ghoulies album exists only as a Platonic Ideal, a thought construct that serves as blueprint for that which we experience in the everyday world. Just thought i'd clear that up). That said, let the record show that this is my favorite Ghoulies album of all time for a variety of reasons, one of which is that it's got the best cover (in the top purple wedge, Roach casually maneuvers her lunar module past a rocket ship containing armed, green aliens; in the middle orange wedge, a cheerful red Tyrannosaurus pursues Scampi, who flees across the rugged desert on horseback; and in the bottom blue wedge, an intense purple squid bears down on a scuba-diving Kepi. When YOUR band is able to stave off the assaults of aliens, dinosaurs, and sea monsters and still remain so damn chipper, THEN you can start faulting my logic). Another reason, strange as this may sound, is that it's got the best songs (i actually first heard this at a local record shoppe, and was so taken with the brilliance of the lead-off track, "Let's Do It Again" ["I'm not tired and I'm not bored and I'm not broken and I'm not sore, you ask me what I want? It's more! Let's do it again..."] that, although there were multiple avenues i could have pursued towards the goal of securing a copy without money having to change hands, i bought it on the spot, cash on the barrelhead, 'cause it was so cool [i mean, think about it: Kepi anticipated his own redundancy, acknowledged it, took steps to combat it, then turned it into a positive! Like, high five!]. When i got it home, i decided the record was so great that i wanted my friends to think that i got it as a promo, so i snipped the corner off the album cover. Then, later, i DID get a copy as a promo! I don't know what to make of all that, morally). The entire first side is more or less boss, with peachy backing vocals in "Mess Me Up" (come to think of it, there should be more backing vocals on Groovie Ghoulie records, it'd help fill out the sound. Pop-punk without backing vocals is like pizza without crushed red peppers: It can be done, i guess, but why?), and cool vocal phrasings in the sorta-like-the-Riverdales-song-"I Think About You During the Commercials"-but-way-better "School Is In" compelling me to state that Kepi would be one of the most underrated vocalists in punk rock today if anybody actually bothered to rate him. Now, of course, there is a certain segment of the populace that wonders exactly WHY the world would need a more-or-less G-rated (Kepi does use swear words sometimes to express his GREAT ENTHUSIASM!) hybrid of the Ramones, Misfits, and Riverdales, the tip of my Iceberg of Rebuttal being 1. They're fun and they rock; 2. The band and the band's records never get any worse-sounding regardless of how many times one hears them; and 3. A hundred years from now, everyone reading this is gonna be dust EXCEPT the Ghoulies, because they're freaky undead cartoon characters who will still look twenty-four years old, fit into the same black jeans, and be touring to support their 138th album, 20 Second Century. They're like a cool plastic thing in a landfill: It can be sitting there for an eternity, but all ya gotta do is pull it out and wash the dirt off and it's good as new. Ghoulies are GO-er than ever! BEST SONG TITLE: "Someone Is Always Not Happy" BEST SONG: "The Bay Bridge Club" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Once my friend booked the Groovie Ghoulies in his club and he didn't have money to make flyers, so i tried to help him out by putting signs up in front of the venue that said "GROOVY GHOULIES TONIGHT!!!" but they were torn down by angry mobs because i misspelled "Groovie."

 –norb (Stardumb)

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