GIRLS!, THE: Let’s Not Be Friends: LP

Not to be confused with the early 2000s Pacific Northwest band of similar but punctuation-free nomenclature, these Girls! are a Columbus sexy-tet—four-sixths of which are guys with beards and one-third of which are actual girls ((bereft of beards to all appearances)). Their music can be lazily described as “power pop,” but not of the stripped-down, kick-up-your-heels Nikki & The Corvettes meal plan—they’ve got a little bit more of a full-figured, breathy attack, with the usual guitar/bass/drum suspects awash in a swirl of Benmont Tench-like organ and such. Adding further evidence to the fleshed-out-ness of the band’s sound, only one of the album’s eleven songs clocks in at less than three-and-a-half minutes, whilst five eclipse the psychologically important four-minute mark ((important to whom, I am uncertain)). Song topics tend to hover around ex-boyfriends and drinking, as all the great ones do. Anyway, I put this album on at the tail end of a long night of getting wasted and listening to records, and enjoyed the first ten songs to reasonable extent. Then, just about the time when I was ready to brush my teeth and call it a night, “Sophomore” comes on. HOLY FUCK. Holy fucking fuck. Holy fucking fuckity fuck. Now THAT, my friends, is a SONG. If this song isn’t in commercials and teen angst movies and on TV shows and at least as well-known as “Johnny Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotton in a few years, then there is something horribly, terribly, insanely wrong with this world ((well, either that or the band fucked up and called a song that everyone is gonna think is called “Girl Parts” “Sophomore” instead)). I played it like twenty times in a row before I actually managed to get the needle off the record and pour myself into the sack. This song has reduced my critical faculties to the equivalent of a small plate of scrambled eggs! By necessity this concludes the review. BEST SONG: What the fuck do you think? “Sophomore!” BEST SONG TITLE: “Let’s Get Weird.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Exploding Hearts song title “Sleeping Aides and Razorblades” is etched into the run-off grooves on both sides of the record, leading me to wonder if it shouldn’t have been “Aids” and not “Aides” in the first place. 

 –norb (Self-released)