GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY BONERZ: Self-titled: 7” EP

Mar 05, 2010

This band is actually lightyears tighter and more competent than one’d imagine a band called “The Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay Bonerz” who do songs named “Trees are Bonerz” should be; then again, aren’t boners—er, bonerz—the sworn enemy of “tight?” I mean, in the grand Ro-Sham-Bo of sexual affairs, TIGHT compels MOUTH; MOUTH covers BONER, and BONER wrecks TIGHT. Where do these guys imagine they’ve heard different? And the line in “Trees are Bonerz” that mentions a “vagina in the sky”—dude, that is the most ass-backward thing i’ve heard since i booty-called Zatanna. Trees ARE bonerz, of course ((everybody knows that)), but they are fucking the EARTH. I mean, look at the top of any given tree. THAT is UNQUESTIONABLY the pubic hair part, not the dinghole part. AM I NOT CORRECT IN THESE ASSERTIONS??? Further, what kind of band calls themselves “The Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay Bonerz” and then has double-tracked guitar solos with a different guitar part in each channel? I’m no expert on the situation, but that doesn’t seem very Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay Bonery to me. Whatever it is this band thinks they’re doing, they seem to have mastered—all the same, i’ll probably give these bonerz a lick and a promise until they release a record worthy of their great promise—like a split with the Fearless Iranians From Hell or something. BEST SONG: “Precum” BEST SONG TITLE: “Trees are Bonerz” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Band’s name is misspelled “Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay BONERS” on the front cover. Gay.

 –norb (Diva Haus)