FOUR SLICKS, THE: Bye Bye Bye: 7"

Jun 29, 2007

I love Jon Von. Jon Von can do no wrong. However, he is kinda testing my patience with the front cover—it’s not so much the skull & Crescent™ wrench crossbones that looks kinda like tattoo parlor flash, but it’s the lettering of “THE FOUR SLICKS” and the song titles that’s gettin’ to me. I mean, Jon Von is the Supreme Font Dude (as evidence, i present the following anecdote: After the Rip Offs show in Green Bay, we were all standing around, and i noticed Jon looking at my E=mc2 tattoo. Without really thinking about it, i turned to him and said “forty point Megaron Bold Extended,” which is, in fact, the font and point size my tattoo is in. Without so much as a second’s pause, Jon goes “not the equals sign”—and he was correct: Before i got inked, i decided that the two bars of the equals sign were too far apart for my liking, so i manually moved them closer together before having them permanently inscribed on my shoulder. Jon Von noticed the alteration. Now THAT is a Supreme Font Dude!) Anyway, the lettering on this record is in what i call “Tattoo Regular”—a sort of embarrassingly pseudo-ornate hand-lettered font that basically one only sees things like “MOTHER” written in, and, i might add, pretty much my least favorite font (or, more correctly, “pseudo-font”) of all time (its only real competition being that which i call “Tattoo Inline Filled”—the same lettering, but they make the vertical parts of the letters wider so they can fill them in in red or some god damn thing). I mean, i can’t STAND looking at shit lettered like that. IF YOU’RE GONNA GET WORDS TATTOOED ON YOU, GET IT DONE IN A REAL FONT, GOD DAMMIT!!! However, i’ll let Jon’s band get away with this aesthetic horror just because i’m sure it’s all part of some post-adolescent font rebellion on his part, and, therefore, healthy. As to the music itself, i like that they’re playing everything at the fastest tempo they possibly can, i like how it feels all stiff and haranguing, i like how the songs seem to boil down to exercises in playing suspended chords as quickly as possible, and i like the fact that, although the Devil Dogs (or, for that matter, the Rip Offs) it ain’t, it actually is exactly good enough to be completely successful for what it is: Rippin’ fast party garage rock. Play it loud, but don’t ever let me get so drunk that i get any part of their iconography tattooed on my person. BEST SONG: “Bad Girl” BEST SONG TITLE: “Lulabelle” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The Fantastic Amazing Trivia Fact was covered with the forty point Megaron Extra Bold Extended story.

 –norb (Savage)

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