Filthy Skanks, The, The Fast and the Cool: Goddamn Ditchdiggers, Las Elefinas, The Knuckledraggers By Kristen K

The Filthy Skanks, The Fast and the Cool, Goddamn Ditchdiggers, Las Elefinas, The Knuckledraggers, and Mala Visa at Ruth’s West End… Longview, Texas… May 12, 2001

(The Filthy Skanks – picture taken from their flyer.)

Okay, dear Razorcake web-perusers, we desperately need bands to play here in the anus of society collectively known as Longview, Texxxas (exactly two hours east of Dallas directly off I-20!). Any interested parties please contact Frenchy, Will, Allen, or Amy at Resistance Skate Shop… telephone: (903) 234-1576 or email: [email protected] or snailmail: 215 W. Tyler St., Longview, TX 75601.

Ruth’s West End (or Ruth’s Round-Up For Wayward Drunkards, as I so affectionately call my favorite local watering hole!) recently hosted one helluva hair-raisin’ punkrock hootenanny (sponsored by the fine snot-flickin’ folks at Resistance Skate Shop, of course!). This mind-warping visually stunning mini-festival of mayhem, music, and madness was more entertaining, more intoxicating, and more awe-inspiring than the most hedonistic of all worldly pleasures… my perceptive senses will never be the same, boy-howdy damn!

First up, Mala Vista chaotically careened through a skull-crushing set of “old school” punkrock rowdiness that twisted my testicles into a tizzy and bombastically bounced ’em right out the door and into the street. Their sloppy, sick, twisted, and unrelenting high-octane performance of eardrum-pummeling punk had me drunkenly climbin’ the walls in a fit of fever-pitched foamin’-at-the-mouth fury. Yeeeeehaw, motherfuckers, indeed!

The Knuckledraggers brazenly blasted a murderous rampage of psychotically wild white-trash rock’n’roll… the aural equivalent of a flaming icepick in the ear… gritty, greasy, and hard as a dinosaur dick! What more could Satan possibly ask for?!

Las Elefinas are a gorgeous group of flame-tossin’ hotties who literally play with fire! They awed, dazzled, and captivated the entire audience with the most spectacular display of pyrotechnics ever… they hypnotically set the whole place a-smokin’ and baptized us all in a burnin’ ring of fire. Waaahooooo, if Las Elefinas rule supreme in hell, I wanna go there now in a handbasket! Deliciously titillating!

Goddamn Ditchdiggers raucously roared through a manic maelstrom of amped-out anarchic punkrock belligerence… confrontationally in-your-face and chaotically all-over-the-place. These aurally insurgent backwoods bastards pissed bullets, bled napalm, and sounded uncannily like a blazin’ blitzkrieging firestorm of ear-meltin’ Armageddon.

The Fast And The Cool are fast, cool, poppy, punky, and downright funky. Live, they sound nothin’ whatsoever like their demo disc that I reviewed in Razorcake #2… instead, they wondrously waxed my ears with a relentless array of Buzzcockian powerpop punkiness that caused me to voraciously contemplate the introspective meaning of my very next beer… burrrp, ahhh, thank you!

The Filthy Skanks are deviantly evil, atrociously outrageous, and devilishly vile. They were visually more disturbing than KISS, GWAR, Alice Cooper, and the Sex Pistols combined… sonically, they were loud, lewd, and decadently vicious. The Filthy Skanks scared the everlasting stinkin’ shit outta me and caused me to cower in a dark dank corner of the bar and suck my thumb like a wet-diapered lil’ crybaby. Damn straight, these demon-spawned alien-monster miscreants were as unholy as hell and scummier than fuck… they brought a soul-shakin’ aural exorcism to the stage that’d make Linda Blair frenetically twist her head in all-out vomit-inducing terror. After their spirit-torturing set, I could no longer see straight and I felt filthy all over… hell yeh, just the way I like it!