DISTRACTION, THE: Calling All Radios: CD

Kudos to the graphic designer, this looks way better than it is. Starts out with “My Sharona” type drums, then adds a bizarrely “We Got the Beat”-esque bass riff, then everything kicks in and it sounds nothing like the aforementioned whatsoever. My best description is “apparent teenagers trying (either knowingly or unwittingly) to emulate the Ruts, minus the reggae parts, with lyrics that, a la Head’s The Monkeys album, fail to be minimalistic enough to be interesting solely as minimalism, but succeed at being just minimalistic enough to come off as entirely deficient. But in a nice sleeve.” How a band can play fourteen songs in twenty-eight minutes and still sound like they’re strictly from plods-ville is beyond me (they musta grown up listening to the Stitches, another band where you’d listen to ’em for like twenty minutes and swear you’d been chained to one spot for three hours). I mean, i’m sure this is supposed to sound like some kind of music i really like, but i really can’t put my finger on what kind of music that could possibly be. The beginning of the second side is pretty awright, though. HELPFUL HINT FROM YOUR UNCLE NØRB: Don’t bug mom to peg your pantslegs for you until you get the lead out of your asses. BEST/WORST/MOST CREATIVE SONG TITLE: “Rock and Roll” BEST SONG: “Hijack My Heart” or “Razorblade Kiss” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I think “Rock and Roll” is about MRR. I find the line “you don’t play rock and roll” rather ironic, considering those singing it aren’t exactly wiping Little Richard from Earth’s collective memory.

 –norb (Dirtnap)