DISCREET DOLL BAND, THE: Deny Everything + 2: 7”

Man, not sure what they’re going for here, as the only information on the cover is the band name and song titles and a highly-pixilated photo of what looks like a young Richard Simmons smoking a cig. Sounds like mid-tempo snot rock with monotone vocals—they’re shooting for some big riff-rock deal here, and they manage to pull it off for a little while; unfortunately, the songs also manage to go on about four times longer than they actually should. Imagine the Riverboat Gamblers if they all had two fingers on each hand, a heavy, heavy Quaalude addiction and the insistence that a verse be played forty times. I know it takes a lot of work to put out a record, guys, but just because you can fit five and a half minutes of music on each side of a record, it doesn’t mean you have to. Sometimes less is more, if not in love than at least in choruses, okay?

 –keith (Rich Bitch)