DEADLY WEAPONS: Get Right in There: CD

…the ‘90s Bay Area Garage Mafia have a pretty lackluster track record when it comes to pulling off the “shorter, faster, louder!” thing (case in point being Greg “Midas Touch” Lowery’s Zodiac Killers needing three attempts [and who knows how many lineups?] before going relatively yard with an album); i would be hard-pressed to understand why Tina Lucchesi (you know…from the Bobby/Trash/Total/Whatever It Is This Week Women/Teens/Babes/Whatever It Is This Week) felt compelled to take a similarly futile whack at this type of record as well, but i can’t imagine it’s ‘cause she thinks she ain’t in enough bands. Maybe she’s trying to spread herself too thin for health reasons or something? Beats me. If i’m supposed to appreciate this on the grounds of it being all FAST and VICIOUS and CRAZED and VILE, it’s nowhere near FAST and VICIOUS and CRAZED and VILE enough to work for me. If i’m supposed to appreciate it because it’s well-crafted, catchy Tina Stuff (as, admittedly, most Tina Stuff tends to be), it ain’t anywhere well-crafted nor catchy enough, and it all comes off either as a shrill, pointless version of something she did previously (presumably of a less shrill, pointless nature) or a day-late, dollar-short attempt at something the Loudmouths already did far more successfully like five years ago or something. The one redeeming feature is the cool Greg Ginn knockoff guitar runs; presumably, given a few years of practice and seasoning to properly hone their craft, they might well aspire to be the next Dick Army. Congratufuckinlations. BEST SONG: As no one saw fit to include a track listing with the review copy, i’ll say the one with the “Rise Above” rip-off leads. BEST SONG TITLE: I guess i’ll have to say “What a Way to Die,” because said Pleasure Seekers cover is the only song i know to actually HAVE a title. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: According to the press release, 200 copies of the album are on “invisable” wax. I kinda wish this CD was “invisable,” actually.

 –norb (Jonny Cat)