DACTYL: Teething: CD

As a zombie, I essentially have one important decision to make on a daily basis: Whose brains am I going to eat? Sometimes, I put a great deal of thought into the decision. For example, one thing that would make me want to eat your brains is if you have a really great, horror-looking CD cover featuring Daddy Dracula rocking a blue baby mutant in his arms, and yet you filled the disc with all sorts of feedback filled, noisy garage rock. As far as I’m concerned, that’s false advertising, which I’m pretty sure is a violation of some law. If I eat you, I will simply be dishing out justice. Unfortunately, most times I simply bite into whichever head is closest to me when I’m hungry. Dactyl, you lucked the fuck out. – Tarantula Ted (translated by MP Johnson)

 –mp (Reptilian)