CUDZOO & THE FAGGETTES: Daddy Issues: CD

Okay, it’s not that hard to, like, pop a boner over an all-girl band ((if it is, kindly consult the Post-T-Vac™ commercials they run during Mission: Impossible late at night)); Cudzoo & The Faggettes, however, are possibly the first all-girl band with whom i’ve ever fallen head over heels in L-U-V luv. Imagine, if you would, taking an in-tune and amazingly perverse Shannon & The Clams, then coupling that particular soup base with the pro-like songwriting, musicianship and production of bands like the Ettes or the Like, whilst bringing hitherto-unglimpsed concepts like taking someone’s dried-up umbilical nub, sticking it in their vagina, incubating it for nine long months, raising it for eighteen years, then fucking the shit out of them all over again to the forefront of mankind’s collective consciousness. This shit is so fucking genius i’m scared to play the CD a second time, lest i swoon or poop fatally. These are the kind of girls who kill Phil Spector first. If you do not own this you are a fucking fucktard. The end. BEST SONG: “Daddy Issues” BEST SONG TITLE: “You Taste Like Intervention,” although “Machine Gun My Poon” does have a certain allure to it. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Approved by the Whiskey Fart Authority!

 –norb (Drug Front)