CROOK$:: City of Rats: 7"

Mar 22, 2007

The three songs on the first side exhibit at least a moderately praiseworthy ability to sonically transport the listener back to the not-quite-thrash-but-still-fast stuff of the first half of the ‘80s, including (for better or for worse) the little Black Sabbath-y intro and interludes in “12 oz. Curls” (which itself contains the surely immortal line “All you can think is drive real quick, ‘cause waiting at your house is a drunk horny chick”), on accounta, around 1984 or so, when everyone was playing what we then called “hardcore” (which would now, after twenty years of gross misinformation and such, be called, pfft, “endoplasmic reticulum” or something), everybody was actually secretly sick of playing hardcore, but there was no capacity to write/perform or even appreciate non-hardcore in The Scene, thus bands would satisfy their forbidden desires to play That Which Was Not Hardcore by writing these doofy metal or rock or electric folk or what-have-you intros to their songs. Didn’t really work all that well, because about twenty-four months later they all flipped their lids and started wearing paisley shirts and playing acoustic guitars, but i spose the thought was there. On the b-side, “Stalker Bitch” will hardly make anyone forget “Bummer Bitch” by Freestone, and “2069 A Sexy Odyssey” is just stupid. I mean, the Space Amazons are raining out of the sky for “an orgy of interstellar love,” but yet “they don’t want the women, they only want the men”??? BO-RIIIIING!!! If the Revolution doesn’t include hot ‘n’ heavy Space Amazon/Earthgirl action, i ain’t revolving. BEST SONG: “City of Rats” BEST SONG TITLE: “City of Rats” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Band’s lyricist manages to first use “there” instead of “their” (“with there business suits and business shoes”), then, in the very next line, manages to actually use “their” correctly, twice (“with their power ties wrapped around their busy throats”), then, in the same song, manages to use “their” instead of “they’re” (“Who are they? Their not like you.”). Dude, i thought California made English its official language?

 –norb (Noma Beach)