CRIMES OF THE CONSPIRACY: When You Get This Letter, Burn It: 7” EP

NOTE: All my 7” reviews were done with the lights out this issue. WHAT I THOUGHT IN THE DARK: Song #1: Cheater beats are definitely a lost art. Song #2: Well, at least it STARTED like one of the weird instrumental songs off the first Meat Puppets 7-inch… Song #3: It’s a good thing i restrict my gambling to placing wagers on basketball games, because i would’ve put fifty-to-a-hundred down that this song couldn’t possibly suck as bad as the last one… and lost. Song #4: Uhh… how much would it break your heart if i told you i took the record off in the middle of Song #3? WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN THE LIGHTS CAME ON: When You Get This Letter, Burn It? I think they actually meant to say “When You Get This RECORD, Burn It.” BEST SONG: Song #4, o’ course BEST SONG TITLE: “When You Get This Record, Burn It,” which i had to invent for them FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The guitar player’s name is “XB.J.X” Presumably his friends call him “XB?”

 –norb (Pop Riot)