COUNTRY TEASERS: Full Moon Empty Sportsbag: CD

Jun 10, 2008

There does not exist one single bad Country Teasers track. Though he may be construed as a racist, sexist, homophobic, off-key hater, I construe primary Teaser Ben Wallers as one thing above all else: a genius, capable of high comedy and devastating sadness IN THE SAME SONG. Arrangements are often ramshackle, tumbling over themselves from lack of rehearsal (or concern for what’s “right”), lyrics often self-referential, puerile and/or plain silly, but who (you?) can deny the plain fucking inspiration of a line like “it’s very cold outside but you have a warm vagina/may I overnight leave my penis inside ya?” That’s the comedy. How about some sad: “Don’t cry for Crichton [a former Teaser], his suffering is over/cry for Dominique and his unfortunate mother/cry for Nicola, of whom he was her brother,” from “Deaths.” I mean, emosize all you want about kisses and the end of summer, but this is real shit about real dead friends. This is the real emo, the real DIY (see “Boycott the Studio”), the real essence of punk (despite lack of pretty much everything that hallmarks punk musically), the actual synthesis of all that’s right and all that’s wrong about the world onto a 25-cent piece of fucking plastic. Now “get off my fucking planet and take Alex Stuart with.”

 –doug (In The Red)

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