CHINATOWN: Self Title (sic): CD

…i thought this band was GAY with a capital AY after i read their poorly typeset, inkjet-printed hype sheet which contained phrases such as “Atlantic Records was interested in Chinatown” and “After playing a stellar show to a packed house of screaming girls (who climbed the stage and attacked the band”, then had the album name come up as, literally, “Self Title” in iTunes—as in “WE THINK WE’RE SO FUCKING HOT SHIT AND BIG TIME YET ARE SUCH A BUNCH OF DIMBULBS THAT WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE THAT THE PHRASE WE’RE GROPING FOR IS ‘SELF-TITLED’, NOT THAT WE SHOULD ACTUALLY BE TITLING AN UNTITLED ALBUM TO BEGIN WITH”—but, upon closer inspection, it really kinda looks like their guitar player is wearing an “I’m Into Boris The Sprinkler And I Throw Like A Fag” T-shirt in one of the photos (although i cannot conclusively establish this), and, all in all, the album is a homogenously solid enough black leather pants wearin’, Faster Pussycat wannabe-in’ (therefore two levels of wannabe-ism removed from Aerosmith, the root of all that is right and good in these cases) affair to be pleasant enough to merit a spin or two (not that i’m going on record as endorsing that kind of thing, mind you), therefore i relented and officially proclaim this band “not as gay as i originally thought” and the album “actually kinda cool.” Okay, girls, back to your scheduled rampaging. BEST SONG: “Streetlight Parasite” BEST SONG TITLE: “Streetlight Parasite.” Yes, it’s that kind of band. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I’ve given the matter some thought, and have come to the conclusion that whether or not the band took their name from the Devil Dogs song cannot be proven either way.

 –norb (Sonic Swirl)