In the nineties, I once heard a Christian hardcore band who growled their excitement about The Christ saving their souls over Earth Crisis-style e-chord crunch. Besides being absolutely hideous, they were also baffling. If they were so stoked about the redemption of their buttclenched Protestant asses then why were they trying to sound so pissed off about it? Key word here: trying. They missed the point. It came off as insincere. Now this might sound completely unfair, but Capitalist Kids remind me of that band, not when they’re playing annoying, toothless pop songs about girls, but when they’re trying to be political. When they repeat the bouncy refrain critiquing “infinite growth on a finite planet” I don’t believe them. When they sing “bop da da bop bop, ba da da da da bop, state-sanctioned murder, woah-oh-oh”, sound like they’re stoked about it. They make it sound like something I should add to my shopping list. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure these guys care about these issues, but obviously, not enough to break from formula. The reason these songs suck is right there in the first song “Not ‘95”. In this song, they complain about how “nobody in this town likes pop-punk”. See, Capitalist Kids say they “only care for melodies/interesting words/like spelling bees/occasionally (having) something to say”. “Some hate (their) songs about politics/Others hate the tunes about pretty chicks”, but Capitalist Kids don’t care because they’re “only doing this for fun”. More power to ‘em, but that’s my problem: their political songs are fun,the songs about girls are trite and, son, pop-punk sucked long before ‘95.

 –Craven Rock (It’s Alive)