CANDYGRAM FOR MONGO: The Red Pill: CD

Terrible lite punk that sounds like a neutered Anti-Nowhere League (Anti-Balls League: “So what, so what, you boring little nincompoop”). I had this whole analogy worked out about how when a dog eats cat shit, its own shit is two kinds of shit, but geez—this record is like four kinds of shit. Shitty artwork, funk-rock instrumental, and shitty punk rock. And get this monkey shit: on the back it says “We’d like to thank the ladies—all the ladies, really—but three in particular [three names, presumably the three band members’ partners]”, while the lyrics to “Porkchop” go, “Baby, I like chicken-fried steak, yeah, but nothing’s like your pork chop. Once I get started eating, I never want to stop. So show me a little stocking, now don’t make me beg. Lift up your skirt now darling and show me some leg.” That, my friends, is an asshole. (See also “She’s Not on the Menu” by SNFU, 1984).

 –doug (C4Media)