Look, you people, this is important: POP is BOLD. Pop is bold. Pop is not all mumbly and wobbly and echoey and sitting around sounding like it’s humming some off-key tune while its got its head immersed in a bucket of Fresca™, POP is BOLD like the baritone sax coming in and going “WHUH WHUH WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA” at the end of “Thank the Lord for the Night Time” by Neil Diamond. It’s BOLD like the strings on a Troggs ballad. It’s bold like the frickin’ brass section in “I Know a Place” by Petula Clark! It’s NOT like some half-assed cross between the Flying Lizards and Shonen Knife and Guided By Voices aspiring to (and failing to achieve) “Hong Kong Garden” by Siouxsie & The Banshees as some sort of Pop Grail. IT IS NOT THAT. This record is no darn good! I do not know why anyone would listen to or put out this record. To heck with all parties involved! BEST SONG: Their recasting of PiL’s “Public Image” as “Yellow Peril,” which states “now is the time to try the new flavor.” New flavor? Honey, i oughtta get frequent flyer miles!!! BEST SONG TITLE: “Kimono Kitty” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: This record came with a piece of candy that, i assume, is called a “buttersprite.” It was like a piece of butterscotch hard candy with strawberry filling. It was very good. If you can figure out some way to get the piece of candy without actually getting the record in the process, i say do it.
–norb (Dionysus)