BOXCUTTER: The Ill Testament: CD

Hoo, lordy, lordy, I can barely type ‘cause I’m laughing so hard. The band melds together tough-guy metal (aka “hardcore”) and gangsta rap that takes defining “crap” to epic new levels. By the time track three, “Ghetto Story Part 2,” started off with an appropriation of the first verse of Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story,” I was rolling on the floor. I’m reluctant to say this is the worst thing I’ve heard in a decade, because, at this point, there are nine months left, but it’s gonna take some truly monumental testaments to utter suckdom to beat this. Even Brittany Spears at her absolute worst is sheer artistic brilliance compared to this.

 –jimmy (Screaming Crow)