Blank the World: DVD

Nov 13, 2006

Signs of the impending apocalypse: 1) When punk-oriented groups and their releases shy away from profanity. In this case, there seems to be an aversion to the word “fuck” in the titling of this disc. If you’re fucking afraid to use the fucking word, don’t even fucking allude to it, as you just fucking look like a bunch of fucking half-stepping sellout fucks. And don’t think the irony of so-called “punk” DVD makers being averse to the word “fuck” while happily including a promo for another of their DVDs featuring dumb so-called “punk chicks” showing off their tits and scumbag rock stars cooing and bragging about fucking said chicks is lost on the viewer—ain’t no hesitation to exploit the drunk and the stupid, but god forbid you should threaten sales by including a profane word in the title. 2) When an international collection of fifteen bands yields a grand total of one good song from one band, and that band is the Blind Pigs, while the other fourteen sound like they’re content to phone in watered down approximations of pop and “street” punk. Seeing as in a lot of the countries represented, sporting a mohawk is tantamount to open rebellion against the government and, therefore, punishable by death, one can’t help but wonder if this is a collection of government-approved faux punk bands. Given the influx of “Christian punk” bands in recent years, it ain’t all that far outta the realm of possibility. 3) When your average coffee house folksinger is more of a threat to the status quo than the average “overground” punk band, and these bands are only too happy to demonstrate this fact. 4) When a DVD this bad, this wretched, this utterly lacking in any sort of quality or interest is not only made, but actually has a market. 5) That it is only one of thousands of bad, bad “punk” DVDs being marketed out there. This DVD is soooo beyond being labeled as shit. This is stuff that even shit doesn’t want to be associated with. Let’s just hope that when the apocalypse does start revving up, the people responsible for this are on the front line, sans weapons. –Jimmy Alvarado (