BITCH SCHOOL: Bite Down on This: LP

With an all-female lineup and a cover that hearkens back to the graphic opulence of Buy Our Records circa 1986, I have been trying for hours to think of some band other than Girlschool of which this nonessential platter reminds me, and failed miserably. Some of the songs are pretty cool if you stop and listen to them for a while ((which is, duh, what you’re supposed to do)), but the whole mess is dragged down by this stiff and prominent one-two-one-two beat that gives everything a sort of amateurish feel that doesn’t fit well with the more polished guitar and vocal parts. When the drumming kicks it up a notch to quarter-note cymbal rhythms as in “Sucker For a Pretty Face,” the whole thing seems so ready to go off the rails that I half expected Scotty to come bolting up from the engine room, bitching about how the dilithium crystals can’t take the strain for much longer. I played this album the first time for makeout music, having no idea what it sounded like. Neither one of us was terribly impressed, but we didn’t stop to take the record off, either. BEST SONG: “Think about Love” BEST SONG TITLE: “I Got Dissed by Dave Mustaine” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Albums depicted on the bed on the back cover include Elvis, Dolly Parton, AC/DC, and the Lovesores. 

 –norb (National Dust)