BIKES: Self-titled: LP

Devoutly midtempo, floor-tom-heavy garage that neither gets around to beating you over the head with the physicality of their nice raw sound, nor slapping you upside the head with the cerebral thrills of songwriterly excitations. The songs just bash along at nearly identical tempos, without anything particularly noteworthy happening at any point in time. I don’t hate it, but I’m about ten-twelfths of the way through the record as I write this and I kind of wish something really cool would happen soon. It sounds more or less like if the Little Killers absolutely, positively could not kick it into gear one day, and chose that particular day to record an album. Oh wait, that was A Real Good One. Well, you get the idea. BEST SONG: “Jailbreak.” BEST SONG TITLE: “What Do You Know about Tantric Sex.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Although the record appears to be self-titled, the spine has the word “MATT” on it in addition to the label name, release number, and band name. ­

 –Rev. Norb (Alien Snatch, aliensnatch.com)