A thirty-minute Warped Tour flashback for those of us young enough to have been fooled in our more impressionable years. Drums that fade into phaser-induced breakdowns, guitars that make the last note in the solo sparkle, vocals that sound so processed that finding out the record was released on an indie label is a legitimate shock. It’s easy to mock a product like this. The result feels as insincere and calculated as I remember the music sounding when I was fifteen. This is the type of pop punk that makes me hesitant to ever describe anything as “pop punk” in fear that people think I would listen to this sonic fart. It’s competent, but it sounds like garbage. Grade: D-.
–Bryan Static (Self-released, no address listed)