BESMIRCHERS, THE: If Loving You Is Wrong…: CD

Given a name built around the root word of “besmirch,” snazzy and Garbage Pail Kid™-esquely gross/cute cover art, and even a song called “I Drink From Your Milkshake,” i was expecting these guys to be something along the lines of a less-saccharine Kung Fu Monkeys. Well, i clearly got the “less-saccharine” part right: The disc is a sixteen-song, twenty-two minute collection of GG-esque songs about fellatio, drugs, and ejaculating, sung by a guy who looks like an old, beat-up, blade-damaged, bleached blonde wrestler with facial tattoos ((and, by the sound of his vocals, a substandard dental plan)), backed by a shit-tight band who should probably be commended for showing at least mild restraint towards satisfying their presumed speedmetal proclivities. Musically, i think you could slot “Suburban Girl” right between “Midnite Deposit” and “You’re So Fucked To Me” on the “Life Is Ugly So Why Not Kill Yourself” album ((or maybe right after “Suburban Bitch” on “Hell Comes To Your House”)) and none would be the wiser, although the song is actually produced well enough to fit on “American Youth Report” instead. Lyrically, the only line you really need to know is “Come on baby, born to rock / Drink your piss while you suck my cock” from “Born to Fuck.” Bottoms up! BEST SONG: “Going To The Swap Meet With Downtown Dave” BEST SONG TITLE: “I Drink From Your Milkshake” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The letter from Lenny Mental’s girlfriend’s mom is probably worth the purchase price in and of itself.

 –norb (Puke In The Sink)