I stand to sound old and humorless right now. But that is an inherent danger anytime one decides to give critical analyses to the merits of something claiming to the world to be “humor.” So, despite the very real possibility of coming off as a clueless cluck, I have to say that Beer: The Movie didn’t make me laugh very much. Or even laff very much. I think I like low-brow humor even more than the next guy, but this just struck me as a bunch of college age dudes who cut their clown teeth on too much Tom Green and Jackass growing up. In other words, throughout the movie, I sensed that these guys, more than anything, like doing “zany” things to be the center of attention. And like the talk show host who’s in the business because “he likes the sound of his own voice,” I get the impression that these madcaps just like the sound of themselves laughing at their own jokes. Because I have a hard time believing anyone else out there is laughing at this stuff. But what do I know? I’m old and humorless and not starved for attention. I’m just plain out of step with the times. And that’s fine, because with the blogosphere and the MySpaces and the YouTubes and camera phones and everyone scurrying like rats to feed on the rancid peanut butter of human attention, that just leaves that much more beautiful anonymity for me. And so now here’s the painfully obvious, but somehow appropriate, clunker of a closing line: if this movie is beer, it’s fucking skunky. –Aphid Peewit (Unit Shifter Films, 2658 Griffith Park Blvd. #296, LA, CA 90039)