BEACH PATROL: The Grass Is Always Greener Til You Get There: CD

Nov 21, 2006

Well, there’s certainly nothin’ wrong with getting a big box of records shipped to ya from the West Coast, and havin’ the best of the bunch (by far) being the one knocked out by the local dudes (except for the part where you open up the local dudes’ CD case so you can give the album a quick refresher spin before you write the review, only to find that your Eugene Edwards CD in the Beach Patrol jewel box, which means that the Beach Patrol CD is probably in somebody else’s jewel box, and, in fact, there’s probably a chain of ten or twenty mis-boxed CDs somewhere, therefore the Beach Patrol CD itself is quite unrecoverable at this late hour [so i hope i took good notes])! I mean, Green Bay has always been a city that digs good power-pop/pop-rock type stuff, it’s just that the bands from around here have never really figured out how to actually play the shit (unless i am merely projecting my own fondness of/incompetence in the genre on the city as a whole) (and, believe you me, “whole” is the correct term). Enter Beach Patrol! Recording at some studio i never even heard of, and using such fonts as Marker Felt and Marker Felt Thin, these guys have successfully positioned themselves as a sort of backwoods Figgs (although, for better or for worse, i don’t see Beach Patrol ever turning a particularly clever phrase or coming up with a particularly sharp put-down), successfully channeling a fully functional, if often utilitarian, highly amplified fourth Monkees album thing, if you know what i mean, and i’m fairly certain you don’t (I mean, listen to the first song, “Starcrossed Girl.” Come on, that’s the fourth Monkees album right there! It even kinda looks like the song “Star Collector,” doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? Admit i’m right and i’ll stop right now!). Heck, “Come Runnin’” sounds like something Titletown’s own Fun w/Atoms would’ve played at one AM on a Saturday night in like 1984, these guys probably weren’t even born then, and album closer, “Top Down,” is so good that you’ll forgive the fact that it’s not the Teenage Head song of the same name. What’s it all mean? I dunno. There must be something in the water. OOPS, WRONG BAND! BEST SONG: “Top Down” BEST SONG TITLE: “Trampoline,” because it sort of sounds like “Carousel” by the Hollies, but going the other way FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The band’s most popular song, “Amelia,” is also their dumbest, ranking right down there with those morbid early ‘70s AM radio hits like “Jackie Baby” by Helen Reddy and that song about how the kids got trapped in the cave and ate Gregory. Also, if Amelia’s car broke down “she said,” and Amelia was killed shortly thereafter, whom did she inform that her car broke down???

 –norb (Duck On Monkey)