BAR FEEDERS, THE: 50 Ways To Leave Your Liver: CD

Mar 15, 2008

...i enjoyed this disc for the first ten minutes or so, probably because it’s been a long time since i listened to any bad late ‘80s punk records and found myself briefly nostalgic for that sound. And, while i can’t say i’m completely immune to the charms of the Gaza-Strippers-sing-McCrackins-songs-arranged-by-Zeke-isms of, say, “Chinese Chicken” (“Chinese Chicken! In My Hair! Chinese Chicken! With Fred Astaire! Chinese Chicken! Laughing Gas! Chinese Chicken! Diaper Rash!”), it has been my observation throughout the years that bands which play three-four-five-minute-long thrash songs with all manner of stops and starts and diversions and lunacy and such, generally, in their hearts of hearts, would rather being playing some form of music other than punk rock, but have been playing punk rock (or that which makes use of the sonic external form of punk rock) for so long that they are either physically or psychologically unable to divest themselves from it. And i’m not saying that’s necessarily the case with the Bar Feeders, but it certainly wouldn’t surprise me any to find out that at least one of them secretly wishes he was in a band with a gong. Cool for a while, but about halfway through the five-and-a-half-minute-long thrash song about the Droid Party, i was really hoping that the band, decked out in Stormtrooper gear, would pull up to my house in a commandeered land speeder, kick in my door and vomit heavily into my CD player, rendering it at least temporarily inoperable and thusly freeing me from the remainder of my reviewerly functions – but if YOU really wanna sit thru songs like “Free Beer For The Bar Feeders” on your own dime, don’t relent on my account. BEST SONG: “Chinese Chicken” BEST SONG TITLE: “Satan Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The song entitled “G.U.I.” makes no mention of the Graphical User Interface! 

 –norb (A.D.D.)