ARMOR FOR SLEEP: What to Do When You Are Dead: CD

Back in high school, when I was but a wee maudlin pup who was tormented by unrequited love (love, lust—it was all the same munged-up hormonal nonsense at that point) and spent sleepless nights writing bad poetry, lines like “Thinking back I forgot to tell you this: I didn’t care that you left and abandoned me. What hurts more is I would still die for you” would have completely flipped my lid; sure, it’s treacly nonsense to me now, but back then—when I felt slighted by girls who didn’t call me back and wrote poetry so horrific that I might have been better off cutting myself—this might well have been my album of the year. Before you start hating on my youthful musical taste (or lack thereof), I was also listening to Zen Arcade and 7 Seconds; I was skating to The Misfits, Dead Kennedys, and Black Flag. I was also a sucker for overwrought, maudlin sentimentality and mawkish songs that described the tragedy of love… and honestly, even though I could care less about this concept album about someone who apparently killed himself but, like, totally misses his (ex?) girlfriend, I can at least understand why someone twenty or twenty-five years younger might. If you’re a fan of My Chemical Romance or Coheed and Cambria (and I can’t understand why a fan of those bands would be reading this magazine), you’ll probably shit yourself out of pure excitement over this one.

 –scott (Equal Vision)