ARMITAGE SHANKS: All Cisterns Go!: 7” EP

Penultimate Lairds o’ th’ Toe Rag Sound, the Armitage Shanks have put out a ton of records since the ‘90s, none of them flushable ((for the underinitiated, try to imagine what Thee Headcoats would sound like were they more given to bashing out old punk numbers than dissecting the complexities of Billy Childish’s familial relationships, and you’ve pretty much hit upon the critical nexus of the Shanks’ oeuvre)). Who doesn’t love old guys being simultaneously dapper and vile, especially when they do so whilst beating the hell out of their guitars, thus inflicting a choppy, noxious racket without the guitars ever actually sounding overdriven? I sure don’t not love them, that’s for sure. Anyway, speaking of the devil, “Did Punk Rock Make You a Millionaire?” sounds like one of those P.O.’ed rants Billy Childish would get off onto back in the ‘90s, as the band lyrically examines the relative financial states of various elderly punk figures, problem being that their accents make it difficult for me to figure out the names of half the old farts about whom they’re singing ((also, is Jimmy Pursey really living in a doorway? That sucks if it’s true. Especially if it’s my doorway)). “The Ballad of Unlucky Luke” is essentially a Snodlanded-up version of the Figgs’ “Bad Luck Sammy,” and “No Chance” is a classic hive of scum and villainy in the band’s gloriously bilious tradition. Things wrap up with a cover of “Action Time Vision,” a song at which the band is peculiarly adept. Buy this now, whilst the band is still flushed with their own success! BEST SONG: “No Chance” BEST SONG TITLE: “Did Punk Rock Make You a Millionaire?” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I’ve never really given the matter much thought prior to this moment, but i think this is the most toilets i’ve ever seen on a record cover.

 –norb (Braindart)