ACTION SWINGERS: Enough Already!: CD

Mar 22, 2007

Unless i miss my guess, the Action Swingers’ Decimation Blvd. album was kind of the Land Speed Record of the AmRep set—wait, no, that’s not right, Land Speed Record was the Land Speed Record of the AmRep set—well, okay, maybe it was the Blood, Guts & Pussy or the Get Action of the AmRep set. Wait, no, that can’t be right, either. It must’ve been the Blood Guts & Pussy of the AmRep set but the Land Speed Record of the Sub Pop set, because Blood Guts & Pussy was ON Sub Pop, so Blood Guts & Pussy has to be its own Blood Guts & Pussy for its own label, i mean, sheesh, a = a, how hard is that? But anyway, yeah, Decimation Blvd. was the Blood Guts & Pussy of the AmRep set, and the Land Speed Record of the Sub Pop set, unless, as i said, i miss my guess (and why wouldn’t i? What do i know from AmRep and Sub Pop and Sub Rep and AmPop and all like that?), but it also had significant currency in the Real World, because, after all, didn’t the Loudmouths cover “You’d Better Keep Your Big Mouth Shut?” Well, yes, i believe they did, so HA! That proves my original point! Actually, wait... no... no it doesn’t. Well, be that as it may, the Action Swingers sounded like they were made up of chewed up parts of Zeke, Dick Army (the fact that the Action Swingers were around long before Dick Army [likely before Zeke too] surely compounds the ongoing inanity of my analysis), the Ramones and Black Flag, all held together by black licorice moistened with that new, particularly evil looking strain of Mountain Dew™. Recorded at their final show in 1998, this artifact communicates the last dozen violent spurts of their existence so effectively that, when the band finally blows the final wad of the black cum of their tortured existence listenerward, i feel as though i am one of those begooped villagers from Bartholomew and the Oobleck, save that my engoopment is black, not green, in color. Ned Hayden strikes me as the kind of guy whom, had he a say in his means of execution, would choose “having a telephone receiver jammed down my throat with a broomstick” just so he could get on Faces of Death. ‘90s Nostalgia Nights are actually starting to sound like a good time to me. I’m Sick! BEST SONG: “You’d Better Keep Your Big Mouth Shut,” but it’s not on here, so i’ll say “Waiting For My Chance.” BEST SONG TITLE: “How Do You Work This Thing” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I talked to Ned Hayden on the phone once, at my friend’s record store.

 –norb (Reptilian)