ABSTRACT ARTIMUS: Rite of Passage: CD

This is one of the weirder things I’ve gotten to review, lately. Online research makes this guy sound like some kind of hip and current version of George Thorogood or Stevie Ray Vaughn. Say what you will about those guys, but at least they listened to the blues. I take that back, I have no idea whether or not Abstract listens to the blues, but it sounds like he put Alice In Chairs Jar of Flies EP on repeat, took bong rips, then recorded his guitar noodlings and half-assed attempts at singing. You know that dirty apartment that everyone has been to at some sad or impressionable point in their lives? The one with Pantera and Pink Floyd posters on the wall and the particle board coffee table that’s bloated and warped from countless beer spills? You probably don’t remember the guy who lived there, but this is that guy’s CD.

 –Craven (Dire Life)