7 SHOT SCREAMERS: Keep the Flame Alive: CD

Produced—horribly—by Levi Dexter, the immense sonic shrimpiness of these would-be punk/glam-informed rockabilly brigands is not at all helped by the fact that there’s a chord progression in “Kickin Myself” that sounds like it was lifted directly from “Jumping Someone Else’s Train” by The Cure—though this recording is so thin and ball-less it actually makes The Cure sound like a bunch of hairy, obese bikers in chrome helmets with spikes coming out of the top by comparison. One might be given pause to wonder whether or not the instruments the band is depicted with on the cover are mere props, and if the band actually recorded this disc with instruments constructed completely out of Saltine crackers—but, on the bright side, if you’ve ever wondered what “Born Too Loose” would’ve sounded like had the Dead Milkmen covered it, this might be as close as you need to get right here. Dudes: Levi’s got a cool jacket and all, but the next time you guys go into the studio, you might wanna consider parking him down at the pub early on. Geez, i hope he at least kept his shirt on. BEST SONG: “Born Too Loose,” duh. BEST SONG TITLE: “TV,” although it is not the Rose Tattoo song of the same name FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I met Levi Dexter.

 –norb (Haunted Town)