3TARDS, THE: Crystal Balls: CD

They’re called the 3Tards. Get it? It’s kind of like “retards,” which we all know are funny. You like jokes? Yeah, this is for dudes who like to take off their shirts, tuck them tightly in their belt, and get fucking fierce. The worst part is that I could’ve written this without even having to take the plastic off, which would’ve given me a higher trade-in price.

–megan (Wounded Paw)